Things That Ruin a Budding Relationship

In modern America, about 50% of marriages end in divorce. This is not for a lack of effort between spouses, but rather, a lack of understanding between men and women.

It is no secret that most relationship issues stem from communication problems, and although most women think that their man just doesn't understand them, the scale is not tipped so unevenly. Sure, guys usually don't get us. They ignore our requests, they're deaf to our ever so subtle hints, and they never seem to live up to our romantic comedy standard of a relationship. But, can we really claim that we live up to their expectations? Do we truly know what they want? I've interviewed a collection of guys on what they don't like in a relationship, and here is the list I've come up with.

1. Insecurities

It sounds insensitive, but just as girls love a guy with confidence, guys don't want a girl who can't deal with herself. "I like a girl who's independent...if she's too insecure I leave her alone and let her work out her issues." -Ryan, 23

Of course, this doesn't mean that guys just won't deal with women who have real issues, nobody is without their problems, but they don't want a woman who is second guessing herself all the time. Also, insecurities can put a big dent in your sex life. If you spend your time in the bedroom worrying about how your body looks, you won't enjoy the moment and will miss out on a very intimate and enjoyable part of a relationship. Besides, guys aren't focused on any imperfections that you think are there, they're focused on the moment and ultimately, on you as a whole.

Tip: Don't get depressed over looks or weight, be healthy, and feel beautiful! Even if you don't truly believe it, if you portray yourself to the world as a happy, confident woman, everyone will perceive you that way.

2. Being Too Easy

It's instinctual, it's proven, guys love the thrill of the chase. According to Dan, 19, "I like a girl that makes me try every single time, not just the first time."

Of course, a guy wants to know that a girl returns his feelings, but at the same time, he loves to feel like he is working towards something. Guys love trying to get to know a girl, unraveling each layer of her and going through the stages of a relationship. But, if a girl is completely upfront and too eager, it ruins the thrill. There is ample time in a relationship to be comfortable and open, so don't rush it!

Also, rushing into sex too quickly is never a good idea. As much as guys say that they want easy sex, when it comes to a relationship part of the chase is working up to that great moment. But if you give him what he wants upfront, the suspense is ruined, and the moment isn't as intimate. Let him work for it and he'll appreciate it and want it a lot more. Plus, guys generally don't respect girls that give it up too easily, so don't let yourself be cheapened.

Tip: Don't give it all away. From your body to your personality, take it slow. Let a guy work towards getting in your heart!

3. Being Too Clingy

It's cliche, but it's true. Guys simply don't want to be obsessed over. Sure, it's a great ego boost for a guy to have a girl that's into him, but he definitely doesn't want to be constantly badgered and followed.

Think about it in the reverse, you want a guy to want you, but you don't want a guy who isn't going to give you breathing room.

Tips: Try to step outside yourself, if your guy seems to be getting uncomfortable, think about what you're doing and how much time you're spending together. If you wouldn't like it in the reverse, then step back!

4. Trying to Change Him

When you get into a committed relationship, both parties are going to have to compromise. Both partners will need to change to some extent, even if it's just making a habit of cleaning more often or shaving twice a week. We all do things to make our partner happy, but nobody wants to be forced to change into another person.

If he isn't want you want, then move on! But nothing irks a guy more than when a girl tries to change every aspect of his personality.

Tips: Before you get into a relationship, think about qualities in a man that are important to you and try to find a guy that doesn't stray too far from them. Remember, nobody is perfect, but if you meet a guy that's way off base of what you're looking for, neither of you are going to be happy.

5. Being Too Jealous

A little jealousy puts the spice in love as it makes us feel wanted and adored. But too much jealousy can be the death of a relationship. "Jealousy isn't a bad thing, but if it gets out of control I feel suffocated. If a girl is feeling jealous, I want her to tell me so we can work things out." -Mike, 25

If you feel threatened by that hot blond walking by at the mall, don't freak out, it's normal! But trying to eliminate every girl from your man's life is simply unrealistic, and will put too much tension between the two of you.

Tip: talk about boundaries with the opposite sex before things get out of control, and try to have a little self control. Don't accuse without proof, and don't let your emotions get the best of you. And remember, if you give your guy trust in such a crucial area, he'll be appreciative, and with his freedom he will be less likely to cheat.

6. Being too Cryptic

"Girls are like the Da Vinci Code...I just don't understand! I wish they would tell me what they want and not hint towards things all day." -Max, 20

We all do it, we say one thing and mean another. We hint towards a romantic date or what we want out of our guy. But how often does that work? In the end it just frustrates both parties

Tip: Even if its difficult, try to bring your desires and qualms out into the open. Find a quiet moment, sit your man down, and just tell him what you want!

Warning

• These are very general rules, and obviously don't apply to every relationship.
• Not all guys are worth this effort, and if a guy is taking advantage of your trust in any way, get rid of him!
• If a guy is hurting you emotionally or physically, don't even bother with rules or tips, just get out.